End of a dry spell

You are Lord of lords
and King of kings
You are God Almighty
You are everything we need

Prophecy and promise
have been fulfilled
faithfulness and providence
speak of your grace
as I fall to my knees
covering my face

Broken again
I know I haven't trusted
I've worried and pondered
what to do
instead of bringing it all
to you

You are Lord of lords
and King of kings
You are God Almighty
You are everything we need

You've raised the dead,
healed the sick
made the deaf hear
and the blind see
so why did I think
I was beyond your reach

Be still and know
you are God
Be not anxious
about anything
afterall you are
the Lord of lords
the King of kings
God Almighty
and everything
we need.

12/23/05
Monica

Rest

Since everything in my life relates back to two things this is going to be a combination of them both. Those two things are God and my family. Our two children are sick. Not drastically ill but sick enough to make them miserable. Both of them have decided that whenever they get sick they will resist sleep as much as possible. Instead of getting more rest so their bodies can fight off what ails them they make it worse. Lately I have been somewhat spiritually sick as I alluded to in my most recent post. It is hitting me now that I did the same thing my children are doing now. Oh how I must have frustrated God just as it frustrates me with my own kids! When we are spiritually sick we need to rest. We need to stop being everything to everyone that is not necessary and spend time reading and praying and fully seeking Him. It is great to serve others but it takes much longer to heal when we do not rest in Him. When I was going through this time of drought I was taking meals to others, trying to help others in every way and in doing so I fooled myself into thinking God would be happy with this even if I wasn't taking the time I needed to just sit at His feet amd listen. I no longer can make excuses as to why I don't have time. I must make time to rest and get the strength I need to continue serving others but in a way that truly glorifies and pleases Him.

Where did this monster come from?

Let me dust off the cobwebs of this blog for a second. I am typing one handed so this won't be nearly as long as I'd like it to be. On my lap is our beautiful six month old daughter and in the other room is our amazing almost three year old son. I have been in a daze of sorts for the past few months; however I was quite unaware of it until recently. I knew my passion had dropped off a bit and I knew something in my heart wasn't exactly right but I kept on going. I prayed and I read and now God is revealing unto me something that my former self would have much rather continued to ignore. I know this will bring growth and it will move me closer to Him but it is also very painful. My flesh responds by asking how will I ever be able to change so many things that have been me for so long. My spirit eagerly awaits the changes that will eventually take place. For years I have prayed daily that God would give me all I needed to become the wife, mother, and servant He has called me to be. Over those years God has revealed things like these vto me and it always changes me forever but I always wonder - where did this monster come from? - where was this hiding all this time? I thank God He did not show me these things all at once or I would have been extremely discouraged and overwhelmed and I doubt any change would have taken place. He is constantly answering my prayer that I might be who He has called me to be but there are so many things that are wrong with me I know I will never achieve what I desire until He calls me home. I must strive to change the things He reveals to me so that by some miracle of His power He might somehow be glorified in this life I live each day. I am so thankful for His grace and His mercy. Also His strength that He provides because I do not have any to do this in my own self!