Homeschooling: my heart's desire

As I said in my previous post, my son is about to turn five. This means that he is ready for Kindergarten next fall. I have been teaching him at home for the past year and a half. It has went fairly well and he has progressed much faster than I could have ever imagined. He has the typical mornings where he thinks something is too hard for him just because he doesn't really want to do it, or just plain resisting me on the entire process. Ever since he was a baby there has been this desire in my heart to teach him at home. I think I went to Mardel's and bought the first "workbook" (first grade math) when he was less than a year old!

I love to know what he is struggling with, what he is excelling in, what he is interested in. I love to see it finally click for him and know that he has "gotten" it. It is great for me to be able to have him ask me a question about space or sea turtles or dinosaurs and be able to completely detour in that direction because I know he is interested in it. I dream of taking them on field trips to experience what they are learning so that they will remember it forever. I want to instill in them a love for learning rather than dreading to do it because it isn't something they enjoy or it isn't done in a way that they can full grasp the subject.

With all that said, it still has been a difficult decision to keep him out of Kindergarten next year. There are times when I wonder if I really am his best teacher. When he is resisting me I wonder if it isn't because I am his mom and he'd do better in a school setting. But in my heart, I know that this desire is not from me. It is something that has been put there by God. It most definitely has not always been easy and will probably get harder at times but it is also very rewarding. I do not have any problem with those who send their children to school. I know God does not put this on every mother's heart and it is no less noble a task to mother a child and send them to school than it is to school them at home.

My main reason for putting this here is because I know there is a voice of doubt. The voice that says maybe they would be better off with someone else, the voice that tries to drown out a true desire that has been put there by God. I need to remind myself of that as well. If we choose to send our children to school let it be for something other than that. We are capable, we are equipped, we can do it and if God has put that in our hearts than we should act on that.