Shepherding a Child's Heart by Tedd Tripp
Recently, I entered into a summer Bible study about parenting. I was told we were going to be using the book "Shepherding a Child's Heart" by Tedd Tripp. I was a bit leary when I heard this because the only book I like to use is the Bible. However, after only attending one of the meetings, I was completely convicted in the way I had been parenting our children. This book directs you straight back to the Bible and as far as I can tell is determined to teach biblical truths and biblical principles for parenting rather than offering a formula to raise children with good self-esteem. Here is an excerpt from the book:
Let's take a familiar example from any home where there are two or more children. The children are playing and a fight breaks out over a particular toy. The classic response is "Who had it first?" This response misses heart issues. "Who had it first?" is an issue of justice. Justice operates in the favor of the child who was the quicker draw in getting the toy to begin with. If we look at this situation in terms of the heart, the issues change.
Now you have two offenders. Both children are displaying a hardness of heart toward the other. Both are being selfish. Both children are saying, "I don't care about you or your happiness. I am only concerned about myself. I want this toy. My happiness depends on possessing it. I will have it and be happy regardless of what that means to you."
In terms of issues of the heart, you have two sinning children. Two children are preferring themselves before the other. Two children are breaking God's law. Sure, the circumstances are different. One is taking the toy that the other has. The other is keeping the advantage. The circumstances are different, but the heart issue is the same - "I want my happiness, even at your expense."
You see, then, how heart attitude direct behavior. It is always true. All behavior is linked to some attitude of the heart. Therefore, discipline must address attitudes of the heart.
Now let's go to Scripture.
Proverbs 4:23 NIV
23 Above all else, guard your heart,
for it is the wellspring of life.
Deuteronomy 10:12 NIV
12 And now, O Israel, what does the LORD your God ask of you but to fear the LORD your God, to walk in all his ways, to love him, to serve the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul,
Jeremiah 17:10 NIV
10 "I the LORD search the heart
and examine the mind,
to reward a man according to his conduct,
according to what his deeds deserve."
Luke 12:34 NIV
34For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.
Hebrews 4:12 NIV
12For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.
Luke 6:45 NIV
45The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks.
I admit I am horribly guilty of putting a band aid on the wound and not getting to the source of the infection. I am determined to change that now. My eyes have been opened and I cannot look at it the same again. I can no longer plead ignorance, and I must take the steps to change this.
Here is another excerpt from the book:
I have seen families get hold of the principles in this book. I have seen parents shepherding happy, productive children who are alert to themselves and life. I visited such a home recently. The family was alive and vibrant. Teenage children were at home, because home was an exciting place to be. Father and Mother were held in high esteem and sought out for advice. The Bible and biblical truth blew through every conversation - not with stifling heat, but like a refreshing life-giving breeze. In this home, five generations have kept the faith and a sixth is learning that God is the foundation of life in whose light we see light.
These are things worth striving for. This is a vision worthy of sacrifice.
I am sure as I continue on with this study and reading this book inbetween changing diapers and building towers I will be blogging on this issue again. I would love to give a copy of this book to every Christian parent there is, but since I cannot I will highly recommend it instead!
Let's take a familiar example from any home where there are two or more children. The children are playing and a fight breaks out over a particular toy. The classic response is "Who had it first?" This response misses heart issues. "Who had it first?" is an issue of justice. Justice operates in the favor of the child who was the quicker draw in getting the toy to begin with. If we look at this situation in terms of the heart, the issues change.
Now you have two offenders. Both children are displaying a hardness of heart toward the other. Both are being selfish. Both children are saying, "I don't care about you or your happiness. I am only concerned about myself. I want this toy. My happiness depends on possessing it. I will have it and be happy regardless of what that means to you."
In terms of issues of the heart, you have two sinning children. Two children are preferring themselves before the other. Two children are breaking God's law. Sure, the circumstances are different. One is taking the toy that the other has. The other is keeping the advantage. The circumstances are different, but the heart issue is the same - "I want my happiness, even at your expense."
You see, then, how heart attitude direct behavior. It is always true. All behavior is linked to some attitude of the heart. Therefore, discipline must address attitudes of the heart.
Now let's go to Scripture.
Proverbs 4:23 NIV
23 Above all else, guard your heart,
for it is the wellspring of life.
Deuteronomy 10:12 NIV
12 And now, O Israel, what does the LORD your God ask of you but to fear the LORD your God, to walk in all his ways, to love him, to serve the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul,
Jeremiah 17:10 NIV
10 "I the LORD search the heart
and examine the mind,
to reward a man according to his conduct,
according to what his deeds deserve."
Luke 12:34 NIV
34For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.
Hebrews 4:12 NIV
12For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.
Luke 6:45 NIV
45The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks.
I admit I am horribly guilty of putting a band aid on the wound and not getting to the source of the infection. I am determined to change that now. My eyes have been opened and I cannot look at it the same again. I can no longer plead ignorance, and I must take the steps to change this.
Here is another excerpt from the book:
I have seen families get hold of the principles in this book. I have seen parents shepherding happy, productive children who are alert to themselves and life. I visited such a home recently. The family was alive and vibrant. Teenage children were at home, because home was an exciting place to be. Father and Mother were held in high esteem and sought out for advice. The Bible and biblical truth blew through every conversation - not with stifling heat, but like a refreshing life-giving breeze. In this home, five generations have kept the faith and a sixth is learning that God is the foundation of life in whose light we see light.
These are things worth striving for. This is a vision worthy of sacrifice.
I am sure as I continue on with this study and reading this book inbetween changing diapers and building towers I will be blogging on this issue again. I would love to give a copy of this book to every Christian parent there is, but since I cannot I will highly recommend it instead!
posted by Monica at 12:53 PM
2 Comments:
What a challenge to every parent that claims to be a Christ-Follower. We must give our children an eternal perspective. Thank you for taking up this most important task. I look forward to sharing this experience with you!!
We know that you want your little guy or gal to have the best start, the greatest thing you can do for your child is to provide a home filled with love and laughter.
Link to this site: parenting a child with autism
http://www.parenting-faq.info/
Post a Comment
<< Home